I’ve been trying to write a message to all of you for over a week but have really struggled with what to say. I come to my computer, start writing on the topic I chose and it just has not seemed authentically flow somehow. Feels a bit like force and when I just realized that, what a lightbulb moment! The new yoga video that I recorded and posted to my subscription library was a way of practicing the concept of “Flow over Force” related to how it feels to be in a state of flow over that of force in life and here I was trying to force. Ha! Heavy sigh…the teacher is the student.
Upon reflection, I came to understand that the struggle has been that I truly believe my life’s purpose is to be a keeper of light in the world and to hold space for others as they embark on a healing journey. I am so grateful for the gifts I have been given and that I have this unique privilege to help others. At the same time, I am also having a human experience in this interesting time in history and it can be challenging at times to be light and hold the space. I need time to take care of myself too, to return to a more grounded space so that I can be present with what is. And to remind myself that I do not have to DO anything big or great, I can just navigate the world in grace and be a force of light as I move through my day, living from my heart.
I saw an Instagram post today that helped me a great deal and since I still feel a bit at a loss for inspiring words, I wanted to share this with you. The concept discussed is actually something that is also a part of Yogic philosophy – two things can be true at the same time, but I needed the reminder and it arrived in a wonderful story that I hope will help all of you to see a path forward if you too are struggling.
In 2008, Iceland lost everything. Banks collapsed overnight, currency cut in half. By every measure, it should have taken a generation to recover but it only took 3 years. Psychologists from across Europe studied this and what they found was a concept called “Petta Reddast” – It will all work out. But the feeling and meaning behind those words was different than what we in the West mean when we say it. In English, it’s wishful thinking, passive hope. In Iceland, it is a practiced relationship with uncertainty. The situation is hard AND it will work out. Both things at the same time.
Anxiety is a response to uncertainty and our brain fills uncertainty with the worst possible outcome in order to feel prepared or more “certain”, to have a plan in place feels more safe somehow even if that plan involves total devastation. When you can instead experience the feeling of Petta Reddast, you train the nervous system to move through uncertainty without the assumed “certainty” of catastrophe. You can train your brain to stop treating the unknown as unsafe. Iceland recovered quickly because they refused to let uncertainty paralyze them. – Summarized from @soulmindhub
I encourage you to practice and remember this concept, that “unknown” doesn’t have to equal “unsafe”. In these times of challenge, its important to return to presence and notice when you are being pulled away or pulled apart by that anxious future thinking. Presence doesn’t mean we are always in a feigned state of positivity; it means we are with the experience that is happening in this moment, whatever that is. We acknowledge what is arising, without judgement. Allow whatever emotions are arising to flow in but rather than becoming those emotions, can you observe them and get curious about what is underneath them? What I mean is that if you are angry right now, acknowledge that and get curious about why. Keep asking why until you reach the authentic truth which may be that you are afraid of something. With compassion and care acknowledge that fear just as you would with a child who is afraid, be with it and be grateful for it because that is what will change the way you show up in the world, allowing yourself to come from an authentic place which is actually always from the heart. Trust that you know the way even when things are overwhelming. Even when you think you don’t know the next step to take. Be in this moment right now and don’t worry about what comes next. When you struggle, come back to your senses, your breath and your heartbeat.
Here are some other things that I am doing to help me when I feel a bit ungrounded or lacking in presence:
- Set the tone for your day by reading something positive before you do anything else. I am currently re-reading “Braiding Sweetgrass” by Robin Wall Kimmerer to remind me of the connection of every living thing on this planet. You can also read a daily meditations book, which have short passages to set the tone for the day. 5-10 minutes is good enough!
- Do Morning Pages, which is a system of free-flow journal writing which was introduced by Julia Cameron in “The Artists Way”. You don’t have to be creative, you just write 3 pages of whatever comes out, no editing, no thinking about what to say next or how to construct a perfect sentence. Just write nonsense and get out what needs to come out. A great way to get into a state of flow over force!
- Get out in nature, even just a 5 minute walk around the neighborhood with special attention given to the trees, flowers, butterflies and birds around. Leave your phone at home if you can (and if you have to bring it, don’t be on it, not even listening to anything).
- In San Diego, we have an event called MindTravel come through about once a month. It’s an incredibly beautiful experience of a silent piano with guided meditation overlooking the ocean. Silent in this instance just means that everyone is listening through headphones, which also allows you to be mobile and you can walk on the beach while listening. The gentleman who leads this (Murray Hidary) also offers guided walking meditations that you can join from anywhere, so something like that might be helpful when you feel like you can’t sit in stillness but need to reconnect to the Self somehow.
- And of course – do a yoga practice! Find a studio near you that has teachers who resonate with you or take advantage of my online offerings in the video subscription library.
May the actions you take always come from your heart. Stay in a place of patience and try not to let uncertainty paralyze you! It will all work out
“When I run after what I think I want, my days are a furnace of stress and anxiety. If I sit in my own place of patience, what I need flows to me, without pain. From this I understand that what I want also wants me, is looking for me and attracting me. There is a great secret in this for anyone who can grasp it.” – Rumi
Stacey Filice Yoga 